To Drinker, From Drinker

I’m not here to demonize drinking. And I’m definitely not here to demonize drinkers. How could I? I was a committed heavy drinker for 25 years. I drank with the best of them. And I loved it—well, parts of it anyway.

So when I talk about sobriety or alcohol-free living, it’s not coming from the nun who taught at your Catholic school. It’s coming from someone who you might have cozied up next to at the bar not that long ago.

One of my main motivations for starting SWELL was to be able to talk to drinkers with credibility—as someone who spent the vast majority of his adult life among them. Nobody wants to be preached at. And, trust me, I ain’t no preacher.

No Shame

Whether you’ve never had a sip in your life, or you are still splashing a little vodka in your morning OJ—I want you here. SWELL is a place for you. Whatever role alcohol has played or still plays in your life, the first step is simple: be honest about it. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t shy away. There’s no reason to feel ashamed.

Your honesty may sound like:

• “I’m completely comfortable with my drinking; it’s not an issue for me.”
• “I drink a little more than I should, and I want to cut back some.”
• “I’ve known for a while I drink more than I want to.”

There are infinite variations. Whatever yours is—be okay with it. Improving anything about yourself begins with knowing where you’re starting.

You can’t get from New York to DC if you’re actually starting in Baltimore.

Alcohol Wants Your Love

If you have a complicated relationship with alcohol, you’re not the first. Humans have consumed alcohol for millennia, and our track record has been…mixed.

Despite its casual cultural perception, it’s a psychoactive drug that affects numerous pathways in the brain. If you’re human, it affects you. Some of the effects we enjoy include:

• Stress seems to wash away
• We get a burst of energy when we’re running low
• We feel like chatting and joking around
• We forget what’s bothering us—at least temporarily
• We get a hit of ‘reward’ with that first drink
• Life feels more adventurous, even when nothing much is happening

Of course, there’s a lot more going on underneath the ‘buzz’. Unfortunately, most of the behind-the-scenes action is doing us more harm than good.

Some of the effects of alcohol contribute to our love of it, while others contribute to dissatisfaction with ourselves.

Alcohol is ubiquitous in our society, so it makes sense to try to better understand its considerable effects. The more you learn about how alcohol affects you, the better positioned you are to manage your relationship with it.

Taking Control

One of the foundational philosophies of SWELL is that we all have the ability to take control of how we feel. For many people, alcohol is one of the hardest areas of their life to control. I want SWELL to be a community that recognizes this—and more importantly, accepts that mixed feelings about drinking are normal.

Society has normalized drinking at almost any time, for almost any reason. I could write an entire chapter (and I will—stay tuned!) on the barrage of messages around alcohol we’re exposed to. But part of taking control is learning to spot those messages, contextualize them, and decide for ourselves how we want to act in response.

We’re allowed to broadcast our own message too.

The ‘S’ in SWELL

You won’t catch me criticizing anyone’s right to drink as much or as little as they want. You don’t have to be alcohol-free to care about your health.

But I do want to normalize honest, public conversation about drinking—just as we do about food, sleep, stress management, and movement.

For some people, alcohol is a major obstacle for improving health (it certainly was for me). For others, it may play a minimal role. Either way, I won’t shy away from talking about it, and I don’t want you to either.

Consider how we manage other areas of health:

• What and how much we eat
• When and how well we sleep
• How we manage stress
• The quantity and quality of movement in our lives

And if we drink, we have to learn how to manage that as well.

For some people, that will mean total sobriety—as it did for me. For others, it may mean learning more about alcohol’s effects and deciding when and how much is appropriate for them.

There are countless platforms promoting drinking and drinking culture. I want SWELL to be a voice for those who choose not to drink—or who choose to drink with much more awareness and intention.

Our message has a right to be heard too—and that’s why Sobriety is the ‘S’ in SWELL.

As always, thanks for reading. I’m truly happy you’re here.

All the best,

Nate